How can I gain self-control?

This is a very good question and one that shows incredible maturity on your part! So let’s talk about self-control. Sometimes in T.R.A.C.K. I talk about the “18-inch Chasm.” 18-inches is about the average distance between the brain and the heart. I've told the class that there are a lot of people who know Jesus intellectually but don’t really have a relationship with Him. In fact, there are many people who can quote Scripture, who go to church, who pray or who may even lead a small group and who truly can explain the Gospels of Jesus Christ and relate the story of Jesus’ birth, life, death and resurrection but they’ve never put their faith and complete trust in Jesus.

They have never translated that intellectual knowledge into true belief. That’s why I call it a “chasm.” By definition a chasm is a “deep cleft in the ground or a yawning fissure in the earth’s surface.” Picture the Grand Canyon. That is a chasm.

So, when I call it the “18-inch Chasm,” basically, even though it’s physically only about 18-inches between your brain and your heart, the fact that you know something to be true but don’t really believe it in your heart makes it a HUGE gap.

In fact, Jesus even warns those who say they know Jesus but fail to do His will that He will reject them! (Matthew 7:21-23)

So, how do we gain self-control? First, you have to believe in your heart that Jesus is who He says He is. Next, you have to accept Him as your Lord and Savior. Then, guess what happens? You get this Helper inside of you called the Holy Spirit. The Holy Spirit is the Third Person that God reveals Himself as and, when you accept Jesus as your Lord and Savior and make that decision to follow Him, God enters you as the Holy Spirit to help in those times of need.

Galatians 5:22 tells us that, “The fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control.” So, you gain self-control through the Spirit of God that is in you! Now, here’s the key: look at the order the fruit is listed. Do you notice anything that sticks out?

Self-control is listed last. You can’t have self-control until you have love for Jesus first. The natural result of loving Jesus and knowing He loves you leads to joy and that joy of knowing Jesus loves you leads to peace. And once you are at peace, you become patient, which leads to kindness. When you are patient and kind, it leads to goodness. Your goodness will lead to faithfulness to Jesus and to others, which makes you gentle and humble. That gentleness eventually leads to self-control. You can’t try and jump to self-control without having the other fruit of the Spirit first. It’s impossible.

So, you have to know God, not just intellectually, but in your heart. More importantly, you have to love God with all your heart, your mind and your strength. Then, God, in His power, will indwell you with the Holy Spirit and you will gain self-control through the “Fruit of the Spirit.”

 

Why was Jesus so nice?

That is an awesome question! I think that the most important thing to remember about Jesus is that He is not only a man but He is also God. While God has many attributes, one of His most incredible qualities is His capacity to love us. In fact, one of the most well known Biblical passages is John 3:16, which reads:

“For God so loved the world that He gave His one and only son and whoever shall believe in Him shall not perish but have eternal life.”

This shows us how much God loved us! Jesus is a physical representation of that love. If you ever want to know how to be like Jesus, just look at the “fruit of the Spirit” in Galatians 5:22. The fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control. Jesus was a living example of the fruit of the Spirit. That’s why He was so nice!

Why does God let us do things he knows we will do?

Wow, that is an awesome question! Let me start by answering your question with a question. Why does God let us do things that He knows are bad? Here’s why: Because God gives us “free will.” God could easily control every aspect of our lives, if He wanted. He could have created a world without sin, wars, sickness or death and made a world where everyone was blissfully happy without having a care in the world.

But, if that were the case, what meaning would love have? If God “made” us love Him then what value is there in being in love? If God forced us to think or act only the way He wanted, what sort of life would we have? How good would we know something is good if we didn’t have a “bad” to contrast it with?

God gave us the ability to make our own choices even though He knows every choice we’ve made and will make. And, He gives us the ability to make both good and bad choices. Think about it, by giving us this “free will” it gives so much more value to love! The reason is because it’s now a choice instead of being forced on us.

Also, when you make a bad choice, there are consequences to that choice. God wants you to recognize those consequences and then make that conscious decision to not make that bad choice again. As you grow and mature and begin making wise choices, you will become more like the person God wants you to be because you will be more of a representation of God’s character.

If you ever want to know what God’s character is, look no further than the fruits of the spirit: love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control. (Galatians 5:22)

When you do things freely, that honor God, and mirror God’s character, He will honor and bless you!

What do I say when people are making fun of me?

I am proud of you for asking me a really good Apple Box question. You asked me, “What do I say when people are making fun of me?” You also said, “I need help at school” and “Some of the kids at school are being really mean by making fun of the way I dress and they are calling me a boy and stuff like that.”

It’s a big deal and so I will try to answer your Apple Box question and help you with this problem. I promise we’ll keep praying, and you can keep asking questions too. If other kids are really bullying you a lot, though, we may need to help you more, OK? Promise me that you will tell your mom or dad or me or me if these other kids are going too far and are hurting you.

Proverbs 11:5 says,

The righteousness of the blameless makes a straight way for them, but the wicked are brought down by their own wickedness.

The kids who are bothering you and making fun of you may not stop. You can’t force them to stop, but you can control the way you react. If you ignore them or aren’t bothered by them, they may just stop cuz they’re not getting you upset anymore. That isn’t easy, I know.

I will ask God to help grow you to be the kind of person who honors God no matter what circumstances you find yourself in!

Also, you have to realize that you simply can’t please everybody or be friends with everyone. Look at what Paul says in his letter to the church in Galatia about people who are bullying him about the truth of the Gospel:

Am I now trying to win the approval of men, or of God? Or am I trying to please men? If I were still trying to please men, I would not be a servant of Christ.

I promise you that you are not the only one who was ever teased!

And I get teased, too. One of the things that I do that really helps is that I search for positive influences and good friends and godly people to be in my life. And then I hang out with them. They are such good friends and people, that the others don’t matter as much any more!

I will say one more thing, and it’s kind of tough, but it will work. Check out these verses and I’ll bet you know what I am going to say.

Dear friends, let us love one another, for love comes from God. (1 John 4:7a)

But I tell you: Love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you, that you may be sons of your Father in heaven. (Matthew 5:44-45a)

O boy! It’s not easy to love your enemies. But it’s the right thing to do, and it honors God. BTW, “love your enemies” doesn’t mean that they have to be your friends, it doesn’t mean you have to like them, and it doesn’t mean you have to be anywhere near them, and it certainly doesn’t mean you should just let them hurt you. It just means that you will respect them as created by God (just like you are) and you can pray that God will change their hearts.

I hope this helps you a little bit. Let me know how it’s going, OK?