There’s a girl in my class who thinks I’m her BFF but when I get on her bad side she’s really mean, but she only has a few friends. What should I do?

That is a great question but a hard one to answer because there really isn’t a “right” answer but here is what I think.

You are in a difficult situation. The impression I get is you want to be kind and a friend to this girl in your class but because of her actions and attitude she makes being a friend a challenge, even a bit scary. Do you know what we call people like that? EGR’s, which stands for Extra Grace Required! EGR’s are people God allows into our lives that we need to show extra grace to because they challenge us in someway or another. That means we need to show them extra forgiveness, patience, love, and understanding. And guess what? We all have EGR’s in our lives; you do, I do, your parents do, everyone does. You know what else; we are probably an EGR to someone else, too.

So, what can we do to help us deal with EGR’s? First of all pray. Pray for that person and her needs that you know of. Then pray for God’s wisdom, love, patience and understanding for yourself.

One of the things that I try to keep in mind when dealing with an EGR is that the person might not know better. You mentioned that your EGR only has a few friends. That tells me she probably doesn’t know how to be a friend. In her attempt to control others to be her friend she becomes mean. Definitely not the way a true friend should act. When she does something mean try talking to her about it. She may not realize how her words or actions make you feel.

If she keeps being mean, then if possible try and set some kind of boundary or limit to the amount of time you are around her. Not to be mean to her but for your own protection. God does not want you to be disrespectful or hurtful to anyone but He also does not want others to be disrespectful or hurtful to you.

I know how you are feeling. I remember going through the same type of situation when I was your age (yes, I can remember back that long ago) but I have also been in that situation as an adult. It is a terrible feeling. Keep your eyes on Jesus and he will help you get through this. Your parents probably have some great advice. I bet they have been in the same situation too. I’ll be praying with you. Keep me posted on how things are going.